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| This life is too short to live it just for u but wen u feel so powerless wot r u gona do? |
| 07.29.04 (3:33 pm) [edit] |
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men r all the same rnt they? evry single one is an ass.u cnt blame em...we cnt really hate em coz theyr main fault is tht they r male... they r programmed this way..jus as wer programmed to fall 4 them again and again..they wer made 2 b dickheads. But instead of crying bout it 2day...it made me laugh... the absurd things they say 2 justify theyr selfish acts.all im seein evryday are my gurlfriends gttin their hearts broken..n its breaking up the friendship unit as well n tht makes me sad. i wonder if men think bout tht b4 they do al the things they do. *sigh* MEN R WHORES..its offical.
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| i love... |
| 07.28.04 (4:38 pm) [edit] |
i love meeting ppl tht i connect with..whr things jus click n its comfortable n i feel lik iv known em 4eva. 2 ppl tht ths happnd wit r sara and fran. FRAN U R THE BEST! i love her sooo much n iv only known her 4 a few weeks. n meetin sum1 lik her makes me re-think the whole leavin the country thing...im nt gona find sum1 lik tht in Sudan!
Another thing i love is re-discovering friends.Seeing lee again after weeks of no news frm him really made my day.i forgot how much id missed him n how funny he is...n jus wot an ace time we hav 2gotha (even if it woz only 4 an hour n in a computer room)
and seeing as im tlkin about my friends...holly whr art fort thou?!i miss u soooo muchly..cn we gt on a boat n go 2 the carribean now?!
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| my daily refusal |
| 07.25.04 (6:02 am) [edit] |
[b]My daily refusal[/b]
truth is stranger than fiction
n i must rid myself of this addiction
in tryin 2 gain total acceptence
by winning fools and losing repentence
iv lost my soul and lost control
iv lost sight of my aims and goals
nowhere 2 slowly die
or 2 hide
the selfish reasons why i cry
im on a sinking ship
up on the highest cliff
drownin in the deepest ocean
overflowing with negative emotion
im lost,im torn in2 confusion
pain,unexplainable
my daily refusal.
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| *phone rings* hello..im in the dark, how can i help u? |
| 07.21.04 (1:30 am) [edit] |
im in a photography course computer room sittin next 2 squilly nix wearing my prettyful ring and fave scarf havin jus discovered tht frank sinatra couldn't clicks his fingers...Alfie rocks! i lik the fact tht iv only known this people 4 less thn 3 days and wer already frolickin in the dark and spinnin around. :P
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| *sigh* |
| 07.18.04 (3:06 am) [edit] |
hmmm de dum de dum de dum. Tis summa!
sorry, dunno wot tht woz 4. Didn't even rhyme. Feelin very lost at the moment.*sigh* sighin a lot as well, feelin very heavy hearted. *sigh* ummm... i have oddles of friends but feel very distanced from them at the moment. i came to the relization yesterday tht i woz alone. Totally and utterlly alone. *sigh*
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| BNP and racism. ARRRG. |
| 07.15.04 (2:42 pm) [edit] |
2day a show woz aired on the BBC tht firstly shocked me,thn disgusted me, thn left me feelin lonely and very very scared.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/3894529.stm" title="http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/3894529.stm" target="_blank"http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk...
ok...wel me bein a black arabic muslim immigrant (damn tht word makes me cringe...makes me feel lik such an outlaw), this stuff is scary. Now iv spent 10 years in England, for as long as i cn rememba really,im 16 so iv spent most of my life here. i hav gr8 friends, iv neva eva experienced racism, neva given it a thought. iv always been comfortable middle class, suburban.
So this kinda stuff unsettles me, makes me worried n scared. The thing is, i know shit happens and racism exists bt wot i hate about the BNP is tht they get away with it daily, racism is the very basis of this poltical party n they cannot be allowed 2 gt away with it.
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| I hope you find what you're looking for:ur peace of mind, i wnt nothin more..sumwhr ova the rainbow' |
| 07.12.04 (7:08 am) [edit] |
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im feelin ginuenly,surprisingly,upl ifitingly happy 2day..its amazin how happy u cn b if u jus blank ur mind of all the thoughts tht go round.n if u jus dull tht constant pain tht feels lik ur heart is sinkin..close ur eyes n lay bk...i felt the warmth of my socks n heard the echo of the wind n i jus lay thr on the grass n felt happy.
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| Heartbreak |
| 07.08.04 (10:54 am) [edit] |
Quote frm Nix:"Thr r sum things tht r jus made 4 u 2 want bt neva have"
wel she said sumthin lik tht..im nt quite sure bout the exact words.. bt 2day woz the first time i relized how tru tht is... how many times hav we lusted after sumthin for limtless amounts of time...dreamin,wishin,thinkin tht if only we had tht thing,jus tht 1 thing,God is it too much 2 ask 4 tht 1 thing?!...n thn wen u do gt it ...it means nothin..n ur madly dissapointed...heartbreak.
Quote frm Lee: "Trust is difficult 2 gain bt easy 2 lose"
look at all my friends bein all philosphical!bt 2day is the first day tht i relized this too..i cnt belive iv bin so niave. the one n only person i trustd wit my life n heart n soul...broke my trust..jus lik tht *clicks fingers*. wel here's 2 my first real heartbreak, while the bastard is enjoyin his holiday in Greece!
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| "Why do we feel it's necessary to yak about bullshit in order to become comfortable?" Pulp fiction |
| 07.05.04 (3:33 am) [edit] |
i watchd pulp fiction!!wot a film...it woz sooo gud.bt its nt the best idea 2 watch it wit a 11 year old gurl with a habit of tellin u the endin,an 18 year old guy who knows evry word n insists on sayin them outloud and a 15 yr old girl who is scared of evrythin, frm moterbikes 2 blood.Not a gud idea.bt i i enjoyed the film regardless.
i spent the last 3 days wit sum friends i know frm Sudan.I idolize these ppl..n surprisingly,they didnt let me down.Their house is so full of laughter n happiness all the time,it woz tirin!And the way they blanced being gud muslims and enjoyin themselves..its inspirin.
it makes me lugh wen i think how incompatiable islam and hip hop r.Theyr opposites rite?N sumtimes it is quite amusin 2 watch ppl tryin 2 jusitfy theyr love 4 "gangstas,hos and bitches" wit "Allah is the greatest" bt thts life i suppose. All jus 1 big balancin act.
i hav my skool kinda prom thingy 2day..which i had bin lookin 4ward 2 4 aggges bt now i do not feel in the mood 4 at all.i jus wana go bk 2 sudan..i feel so isolated here.No matta how hard i try 2 blend in or even b proud of my diffrences wit ppl here..my best friends cn neva understand me coz my problems r diffrent frm them.N even though i do lik 2 the think tht "the Earth is the Earth is the Earth" whereva u r..its jus nt the same.
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| Bloom wherever u are planted... |
| 07.02.04 (7:38 am) [edit] |
I opend my mail 2day n found lik 30 junk mail messages n usually i would jus delete them all in 1 go bt i decided 2 look at 1 tht had this title coz i likd it. Sounds hopeful rite?Bloom whreva u r plantd.....i sure will try 2...
Well the email didnt hav nythin 2 do wit tht bt it had this pic in which i thought woz the cutest thing eva! :D
http://img78.photobucket.com/albums/v246/petalpowe r/thailand.jpg" title="http://img78.photobucket.com/albums/v246/petalpowe r/thailand.jpg" target="_blank"http://img78.photobucket.com/...
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