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ok...so im back
Everything is exactly how i left it & i accept tht everythin will be exactly the same wen i leave.
its comforting to know tht things havnt changed, tht i havnt changed. it makes me secure in the knowledge tht wherever i go, woteva im doin,iam always myself. i thought i was lettin the ppl around me define me, and i do seem to do tht to a certain extent, but not too much to the point whr i lose the essence of me,the centre,the core.tht makes me feel safer.
in the last 6 months iv discovered new approches to life..iv bin introduced to ways of thinkin tht wud neva had occured 2 me before. iv learnt how others deal with situations, how others precive,how others feel and act. in the process, my glass became half empty rather than half full bt i guess il always belive in the human spirit. in the goodness tht must be in every human heart tht lives.
Is everyone essentially good?
Are we all born with the capacity,the will, to do good and then society,the media,family,surroundings ,woteva..tht corrupts us?
Or are we all evil,just some ppl less than others? Every human is capable of evil,of hate and abuse,i know tht now but i will always perfer the former,more postive theory.
i think im gona burn out soon. i keep thinkin "i cnt go thru life like this" so much emotion,so much heartache,most of which i do to myself. i think i give too much of myself every time, every meetin, every fone call,every relationship i have, it hacks away a bit of me and leaves me weaker. but isnt every experience like a buildin block to allow me to become wiser,older,stronger? i really dont know any more.
Either way...life is a risk im willing to take and a journey i wana travel. iv taken off my rose tainted glasses and im lookin at everythin clearly. it feels better then ever before.
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