"Tell that u'v had troubling sleeping
that u toss & turn from side to side
that its my face uv bin seeing
in ur dreams at night.
Tell me that u wake up cryin
& ur nt sure exactly why
tell me that sumthin is missin
in ur life....in ur life
tell me tht u live 4 love
that forever is never enuf
that u waited all ur life to see
that u want sumbody 2 believe
tell me that its nt just me..."

iv got so much to revise i dont know whr to start.
or how to finish.

Found this on www.colorquiz.com & its exactly right.

Your Existing Situation

Insecure. Seeks roots, stability, emotional security, and an environment providing greater ease and fewer problems, but is either unwilling or unable to exert the effort.

Your Stress Sources

Wants to overcome a feeling of emptiness and of separation from others. Believes that life still has far more to offer and that she may miss her share of experiences if she fails to make the best use of every opportunity. She therefore pursues her objectives with a fierce intensity and commits herself deeply and readily. Feels herself to be completely competent in any field in which she engages, and can sometimes be considered by others to be interfering or meddlesome.

Your Restrained Characteristics

Emotionally inhibited. Feels forced to compromise, making it difficult for her to form a stable emotional attachment.


Believes that she is not receiving her share--that she is neither properly understood or adequately appreciated. Feels that she is being compelled to conform, and close relationships leave her without any sense of emotional involvement.

Your Desired Objective

Preoccupied with things of an intensely exciting nature, whether erotically stimulating or otherwise. Wants to be regarded as an exciting and interesting personality with an altogether charming and impressive influence on others. Uses tactics skillfully so as to avoid endangering her chances of success or undermining others' confidence in herself.

Your Actual Problem

The fear that she might be prevented from achieving the things she wants leads her to play her part with an urgent and hectic intensity.Fights against restriction or limitation, and insists on developing freely as a result of her own efforts.

exams start 2morow..thats in in one day..ONE DAY!Dear God i hope i do well.

But..more importantly..
i cant think of ANYTHING or ANYONE except him.

*looks sheepish*

At least i have the decency to look guilty!i know i know...only in my 2 days ago i was complainin about the likeness of men &  their penises.

dont get me wrong...i still know that they r dicks

its just tht other parts of my physical,emotional & spirtual body dont seem to know that. or wont admit to the truth of the fact...

it was all gettin so much easier...i hated all men;all y chromosome carriers, i loathed intimacy & didnt believe in male decency.
Then he appears...again.

& he prises open a door tht i had long thought tht id firmly locked.

i dunno..things r so stormy within myself...i barely love myself, how can i expect to love someone else? & thn the future is so uncertain, do i wana stay in Sudan anyway? do i wana even do medicine? so even if we ever got together (assuming he even feels tht way about me..) then wht? wht kind of future can i offer someone wen im nt sure of my own?

i guess whtever Allah wants to happen between us will happen.

i just cant help being a lil impatient...

im sorry...but i HAVE TO "VENT"
if u r male, or wish to be one..look away now.

Iam so so angry i cud explode! i cud shatter into a millon & 1 itseey weeny little icle pieces of pissed offness
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAhhhhhhhhh!
HOW DARE HE?!HOW DARE HE DO THAT?!

how typically male.
how typically chavanist,2 faced,arrogent,self centred,patheticly MASCULINE.

men say tht we're confused about wht we wnt.. i think theyr just confused
they say we think too much & cn never decide...i say they never think.

shez just another gurl who gt hurt by a guy.
So whts new? its gotta happen sumtime... it HAD to happen..she was pretty much asking 4 it...living 18 years of her life without caring for men or being hurt by them. oh no, we cnt be having tht. she had to fall in "love", she had to fall her him (the bastard) & he had to be male (the bastard) & she had to cry.

i never thought id see her cry..let alone over a GUY.

the only thing tht truely unites us females is one of two things...either compatition (for males) or hatred (for males)
why do we all have to follow sumthin so ugly as a penis? coz thts wht men r...giant,living,breathing,wa lking,talking,excitable penises.

Exams again.im tired again.im (supposdly) studying again...but mostly...im just stressing again.
i really REEEALLY wana do well in these exams.i now know tht im capable of really gud marks, if i just put in a lil more effort...
But exams also mean the end of the year is neigh :-) i CANNOT wait. im jus countin the days.i wana do so much this holiday, God willing. iv got so many plans, so many things i wana do, so many ppl i wana c...the suitcase is ready, the plane tickets & passport are in the bag...jus these exams & im off..first yr over & done with.
its certainly been an experience, i cnt deny that.not a nice experience, or one tht i enjoyed but an experience nonetheless.coming here was a decison i made & i have to live with the consequences. was it the right decison? i dont know.... a decison i regret? maybe.
i guess i wouldn't be who iam today if i hadnt come here & bin thru this year.i have learnt a lot but i dnt know if it was worth it.in this yr thrs bin so much pressure, so much stress, no real friendships made & no life experience. but iv come out alive havnt i?